Rosie Glow Wellness

Mind body health for the deeply fabulous

2:129 Maker’s May: That’s a Wrap


It’s May, Bishes.

But Rose, you say, it’s been May for over a week now…

Shhhh, Babygirl. Wrap that sh*t up.


As this humble tutorial marks my first appearance in the lustiest month, let me explain: certain inspiring pals of mine are using the alliterative, assonant relativity (am I an asshole or what?!) of “make” and “May” to… you guessed it… make stuff! Every day!

I used to make these chard “burritos” all the time. They’re super simple, easily customizable, and better for your bod than Chipotle. Plus they’re in keeping with my renewed efforts to eat mostly raw — margaritas are vegetables in my book, though, FYI — and sometimes a lady wants a salad she can hold in her hands. Below, proof that we CAN have it all:

1. Gather your burrito components like the little squirrelfriend you are. You’ll need a giant green leaf (chard or collards), something creamy (homemade guac or hummus or cashew cheese) and whatever fillings your tastebuds desire; hacked into bits or thinly sliced lengthwise to occupy the leaf-span of your wrap.

2. File down the veins of your chosen leaf (poetic, right?) so that you can roll it up like a tortilla without its snapping.

3. Time to assemble! Spread your creamy element of choice down the center of the leaf, then pile fillings on top, covering the length of your leaf in a light layer of yum.

4. This is the hard part: pretend it’s some origami sh*t. Fold the outer edges of your leaf (3 o’ clock and 9 o’ clock, yo) inwards, covering your fillings. Then roll that puppy up from top to bottom — voila a green baby burrito!

5. Slice and serve… with a side salad if you, like me, are a glutton for green.

Truth: I’m a little embarrassed that my first legitimate make of this month is a burrito. I’ve been way too social of a butterfly lately, you guys — the past several weeks have been a flurry of whiskey drinks (those are also vegetables), bachelorette parties, concerts (Angel Olsen and Wolfmother!), podcast tapings, new friends, internet friends who are now real friends, etc. etc. etc. Second truth: you know I got that social butterfly game, but in my heart of hearts, I’m more like one of those weird hairy caterpillars, and as such, I need to inch along artfully and be selective about how I spend my time with all the other bugs… at least for a little while. So…

I’m taking a brief make-cation! Like a staycation, but I’ll be making. And falling in love with writing again. And finishing some half-completed projects that I’ve left around the apartment to mock me. Also, I’ll be sleeping and farting around because THAT’S ALL PART OF MY ARTISTIC PROCESS, or so I tell myself.

Love you all! You’ll be hearing from me real soon!


Author: twitchysister

Hey you! is largely devoted to musings on what balance means to an urbane, artsy-fartsy twenty-something. It’s tough out here for us post-grad women: if you’re not homeless, you’re doing something right. But do you, too, worry that you spend too much time furrowing your brows over your future when you should be unwrapping and relishing your present? Do you, like me, sometimes feel like everyone expects you to be the type of person who spends the majority of her entry-level “arts” paycheck on fifteen dollar old-timey cocktails, four a.m. cab rides home and everything sequined on the Urban Outfitters sale rack when, perhaps, you are really the type of person who would rather drink cucumber mint kale juice while wearing yoga pants and Googling reiki techniques? Is it possible that such a person is one and the same, and she is fabulous in her own, very confused right? Sister girl, I hear you. I know you. I accept you. I also know in my happy gut, full heart and coffee-addled brain that you and I are gorgeous glow worms, just as we are! We are sparkle ponies of light and love and we are still in the process of teasing out our true, authentic selves with all of this… living. So if you don’t have it figured out, if you acknowledge that you never will and that is tremendously exciting, if you want to connect with other smart chicks and tap into that charming inner-self of yours, then come back real soon, ya hear? We’re family now!

8 thoughts on “2:129 Maker’s May: That’s a Wrap

  1. YUM. I am absolutely going to try this.

  2. Glad you could squeeze me in before your much-needed makation! Please tell me you are painting things last night, to the smell of rain, and the sound of your strongly beating heart.


  3. I love chard and collard wraps! Have you ever tried a sweet version? Sometimes for breakfast, I’ll spread some almond butter on a chard leaf, top with a banana, and add a drizzle of agave and maple syrup if I’m feeling fancy. So good. And so great that you met Gena in person! She’s just as down to earth and inspiring as she seems.

  4. Molly, I don’t think I can get down with sweet collard wraps. I’m happy to slurp down green juices and smoothies all the live long day, obviously, but for some reason, bananas and nut butter on chard aren’t my thang.

    And Gena’s the best. Fo’ real.

  5. Pingback: 2:131 The Ultimate Make | Rosie Glow Wellness

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