Hi lovely friends. Here briefly to discuss another polarity housed in my bones: to go out or not to go out? Less a matter of introversion/extroversion, more a matter of: am I feeling vibrant enough to my share some of said vibrancy with the world? Or do I need to recharge my batteries by watching What Not to Wear while paradoxically sporting my velour leopard pajama pants with the see-through, threadbare butt and my Great Gatsby sweatshirt; munching on healing handfuls of homemade peanut butter coconut pecan granola and nuzzling the cat?
I’ve been feeling awfully hidey lately. Definition: depleted and needing to hide… But it’s adorbs because there’s an -y on the end!
Every day I’m more alive, but I would like something to do with my hands while I’m in this hidey state. Writing takes thought and, when you’re me, a bit of self-berating that is not necessarily conducive to returning vibrancy to my being. Reading competes with the charming discourse between my bffs, Stacy and Clinton. Baking with loads of fancy ingredients that one can only find at Whole Foods or online because “one” is a privileged vegan seems frivolous, and less grounding than the activity I need.
The answer is bread. I want to be a girl who makes bread. Not sweet bread, either: bread-bread.
There’s a beautiful woman at all the urban farmers markets here who sells sunflower spelt boules and caraway rye boules — just these perfect hunks of wholesome for a struggling, hidey human to gnaw on. She never wears a stitch of makeup and there’s semolina flour underneath her fingernails and she just looks so healthy. What a worthy pursuit, baking bread.
So that is yet another resolution, further enabling my hidey-ness.
Happy Tuesday to you all. Today marks my official return to normal life, and I’m hoping to carry some calm back with me into my reality. Kneading dough will be a nice stress reliever, when I get there. Also, it just occurred to me that I never made a pun about “loafing”! Missed opportunity.
How about you? What’s a wholesome activity that might help you insert yourself back into life… or may ensure that you never leave your apartment ever again? Tell me!