Rosie Glow Wellness

Mind body health for the deeply fabulous

Holiday Healin’



Not to be confused with this. Luh you, but you do that on your own time. I’m BACK, Biddies, and it feels grand! Considering that I only managed four hours of sleep last night and the most nutritious thing I’ve eaten in the past three days is a martini olive (edited to add: this was true yesterday… have since overhauled my wellness routine.) I think I’m functioning at an impressively non-zombie level. But this girl needs some BRAINS  greens and a good night’s sleep, and I’m willing to bet that some of you are likewise burning your last metaphorical Chanukah/Kwanzaa menorah candle at both ends. So, as usual, I’m here to preach exactly what I need to hear: reasonable ways to stay well this Festivus season.

1. Too much Pabst Glögg makes you feel like crapst you’re in a fög? …Like eating the entire yule lög? Thanks RhymeZone. Look. You all know my health philosophy. To quote myself (who DOES that?), “actual food is but one facet of nourishment. Equally important means of sustenance include sleepsexintellectual stimulationexercisean alleged purposea happy homea baller support system and dreamin’.” The antioxidants in red wine and the … antibacterial properties?… in whiskey don’t make up for the fact that alcohol straight up steamrolls your thinkin’ wrinkles/ synapses into brain pavement, so that you’re left helplessly making out with the hired elf at your office Christmas party or maniacally munching through the spoils of your family cookie exchange. As usual, it’s about balance, and know that I’m largely counseling myself when I say three cosmos does not a dinner make.

I get it: you want to partake in the season of celebration but you have 14 dollars in your bank account, so you prioritize martinis at Creepy Bistro ahead of food #projecting. Finals/a ridiculous year-end workload/the general anxiety of buying stuff for your loved ones (more on that in a mo’) and still managing to pay your rent and feed your mouth make for a truly hectic December with myriad reasons to imbibe. Plus, it’s not a celebration without pink, sprinkle-rimmed Ke$ha Kocktails!

The final word is this: you are presumably an adult. If not, get off the internet, Bebe! Go skip rocks or play with fireworks or something. Whatever kids do, Idk. BUT AS AN ADULT, you should know what alcohol to food ratio leads to optimum enjoyment as opposed to embarrassment/sickness/insta-sleep. And if you nodded in agreement in regards to my “I have money for alcohol OR food” dilemma (bless you! solidarity!), then girl… we just gotta make it work. If you’re anything like me, you could stand to cut a little frivolity with your spending. Not all the frivolity… that’s boring. But you can’t live like Holly Golightly on champagne alone. I know. I’ve tried. Sell your used Prada pumps and go buy some groceries.

2. Healthy eating can be festive eating. Observe:


green cropHo.





Fancy-ass collage, amirite? You guys, assembling beautiful things is one of my favorite pastimes. Example, here’s the bustier/former burlesque skunk costume I’m re-purposing for our Ke$ha Kri$tmas party tomorrow:


Work in progress.

I also apply this principle to bedazzling my meals. Example: I don’t want to eat a plate full of raw kale, but I DO want to eat a rainbow bowl overflowing with the precious jewels of MOTHER NATURE. Gussy that sh*t up.And I know it’s super weird to snap pictures of everything you eat, but if you pause to appreciate every edible work of art you create, you’ll start to think about food differently. Taste the rainbow, Homies.

3. Stop worrying about buying the “perfect present” for every human you know. This one’s really hard for me. In my youth (so yesterday and all the days proceeding it), I put a TON of energy into purchasing and packaging the most thoughtful gifts for everyone I loved, and I expected the same kind of effort and attention in return. But after years of spending and stressing and running around and then having the nerve to be disappointed when others didn’t share my terrifying zeal for, you know, winning Christmas… I’ve decided that I’m done freaking out. My family and friends will enjoy my company more if I’m not frantic and/or giving them all one big side eye for not commissioning Father John Misty to sing me O Holy Night because that’s what I REALLY want. I’ll give what I can afford, time-wise and money-wise, and I’ll relish the opportunity to hang out with loved ones, because that’s all anyone really cares about, anyway.

That’s all for you, Darlings! I’ve missed you around here lately. Trust me when I say that I’m anxious for things to normalize a little so I can check in more often. Take care of yourselves this holiday season!


Author: twitchysister

Hey you! is largely devoted to musings on what balance means to an urbane, artsy-fartsy twenty-something. It’s tough out here for us post-grad women: if you’re not homeless, you’re doing something right. But do you, too, worry that you spend too much time furrowing your brows over your future when you should be unwrapping and relishing your present? Do you, like me, sometimes feel like everyone expects you to be the type of person who spends the majority of her entry-level “arts” paycheck on fifteen dollar old-timey cocktails, four a.m. cab rides home and everything sequined on the Urban Outfitters sale rack when, perhaps, you are really the type of person who would rather drink cucumber mint kale juice while wearing yoga pants and Googling reiki techniques? Is it possible that such a person is one and the same, and she is fabulous in her own, very confused right? Sister girl, I hear you. I know you. I accept you. I also know in my happy gut, full heart and coffee-addled brain that you and I are gorgeous glow worms, just as we are! We are sparkle ponies of light and love and we are still in the process of teasing out our true, authentic selves with all of this… living. So if you don’t have it figured out, if you acknowledge that you never will and that is tremendously exciting, if you want to connect with other smart chicks and tap into that charming inner-self of yours, then come back real soon, ya hear? We’re family now!

7 thoughts on “Holiday Healin’

  1. Hey Rose! I’m wondering if you could do a post on healthy foods that are good for sensitive tummies! And/or what it was like for you to transition to a plant-based diet…how did it affect your tummy? Thanks for considering :)

  2. I love this idea! Thanks Ms. Laura! I’m on it.

  3. This is an excellent set of tips, lady. Happy holidays!

  4. This post is exactly what I needed right now, on all counts. Total solidarity! And I second Laura’s suggestion, would be a great post. Have a great holiday, Rose, and please keep amazing blog amazing.

  5. Needed this. Missed ya!

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