The numbers are arbitrary. Also I can’t count. So! Some sweeping brain trash for this sunny? snowy? apocalyptic? (it’s still dark outside… our future is a beautiful mystery) Thursday!
On love. Here are all the reasons I keep falling in love with baristas:
They have all the coffee. Readers, I don’t drink espresso by the 60 ml shot like a chic Euro lady. I guzzle iced coffee by the Big Gulp like the ugly American that I am. Need that hit!
In my daily life, I seem to meet a lot of baristas and bartenders and NO OTHER BOYS. And when I’m in the midst of bartenders, I’m generally too preoccupied falling in love with everyone else in the room to bother with them. #whiskeyme #whyaminotintheserviceindustry #ohrightcuzofcreepslikeme
I think barista-men are contractually obligated to NOT have ZZ top beards. Despite my Intelligentsia-junkie status, I would turn my nose up at stringy facial hair in my soy latte, much like I turn my nose up at otherwise attractive men with 3 foot long chin frizzies. It must be a Logan Square thing. And if I can wear harem pants and furry sweaters, dude can be a lady repeller. That is justice, whether I like it or not.
On money. Oh hello. I am a poor little yuppie. Please never listen to my advice on budgeting/saving/responsible financial practices. Read this article, in which I am quoted as saying “What is a budget?” You can however heed my counsel on being fabulously penniless.
Find a fabulously penniless role model. Mine is toridotgov.com. Girl is always sparkly and always fly and always repping some incredible sequined schmatta from Village Discount, perfectly beat up chucks and a threadbare plaid shirt that Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love probs swaddled Francis Bean in. Tori makes it look cool to have no money… or to spend that money on craft cocktails and cabs to and from the various glamorous corners of one’s life. Might as well get comfy with your fiscal status, G.
Twitter contests! Look, if non-profit work has taught me anything, it’s that events are big business. If someone is throwing an event, they want people to come. Ideally, they want people to buy tickets – but if it looks like there will be an embarrassing number of bodies present, they want your broke ass there. If there’s an event you want to go to, you can probably get in for free. I bet you know someone who knows someone who’s involved: ask if you can volunteer. And almost every event has a parallel social media contest where you can score free tickets by retweeting a concert venue’s tweet or posting a Facebook comment re: how much you love cat fashion shows. Or whatever. Be resourceful, young grasshopper!
On health. That’s all I have time for this morning because I’m going to go run. Bullet point victory!
Thoughts, gf? What are you up to this weekend? Wanna hook me up with your barista bud, knowing full well that I have ulterior motives?