Hello Internet. I’ve decided to write a blog post instead of work dutifully on
wrapping up (HA!) mah book. You know why? Because blog posts promise instant gratification. You write some sh*t. You read it once or twice to make sure you didn’t offend anybody you hadn’t intended to offend (short list of people I don’t care if I offend: Robin Thicke, the 300 Sandwiches couple, pulsating gobs of crepuscular creepers, the asshole in this coffee shop who thinks I stole his sunglasses, etc.) and then you hit publish and wonder how many people are going to like you on Facebook because of the stinking genius oozing out of your every orifice, you modern-day George Eliot, you. Wait no – you’re more like punk rock Virginia Woolf! Or a hipper grungier Carrie Bradshaw who’s 600% more in touch with #reallife. Yeah! That’s you! Or rather, that’s me because the community that’s collected around this blog (mostly) builds me up, and I love you all for it. I really, really do.
HOWEVER, as a result of all this positive reinforcement, I oft sport a mock mantilla of DELUSION, my friends. I simply don’t want to write if no one else is going to see it. The point of writing a book is that people will see it and read it and hopefully relate to it eventually; but right now, it’s just me! It’s just me and my roommate’s cat sitting on my keyboard and, quite honestly, Elmer’s butt writes better than I do sometimes. F’reals. Fur reals.
I know this book is inside me, but I’m still very much trying to work out a system of expelling it from my mind’s eye and onto the page. Or the screen. Or whatever. But the last thing I want to do is ruin my own fun, you know? Thus far, I’ve tried to be gentle with myself, i.e; commit to writing at least 2 hours per week and don’t force any more than that. What I didn’t account for is the fact that I LOATHE at least 80% of what I write. So out of those 2 hours every week, I get maybe 20 minutes’ worth of quality material. And I don’t think that’s good enough.
At this point, I have to ask myself what I need to keep this project going and it seems like the answer is… positive reinforcement. Instant gratification… maybe a healthy amount of delusion thrown in for snicks.
You guys, I’m looking for first readers. I’m looking for people who will hold me accountable and who will tell it to me straight. I have some ladies in mind for this task, but since Rosie Glow readers are so crazy amazing and smart… I thought I’d reach out to you guys. You all have less to lose than my bffs irl (omg) when you critique me because I can’t enact revenge on you by blowing off your weird dinner party or setting you up with an aspiring rapper or singeing off your hair in the night… what? Internet feelings aren’t like real feelings (never remind me that I said that.) So who wants to rip me to shreds?
My plan is a chapter in your inbox every two weeks… and the first one would hypothetically arrive two weeks from this Sunday. So if you’re interested, email me! rosetruesdaleATgmailDOTcom. I would really appreciate your eyes on my work!
Do you have a project that you’re procrastinating on? And what is your procrastination method of choice? I like to make granola and eat bowl after bowl until I feel like I’m going to die, then binge-watch the Mindy Project. But that’s just me.
P.S. This is my 100th post! What if I just print them out and bind them? That’s almost a book, right?