Rosie Glow Wellness

Mind body health for the deeply fabulous

All My Neuroses on a Plate

11 Comments

ME

Woody, I love you. You creep.

Dear friends, the past weekish has been a weird one. I’ve been a weird one, as far as humans go. In times of stress, every aspect of our collective personhood is tested. It’s all in how we prepare for the storm. So when The Flood’s a comin’…

Do we occupy our own bodies: batten down the hatches and anchor our spastic psyches with a sandbag or two? Can we still feel our feet inside our wellies as the ever-changing tides of LYFE gurgle and spit and try to swallow us up? Do we wear secret life-vests beneath all of our clothes? (#nevernude) so that we have no reason to doubt that we’re okay and we’ll be okay no matter what happens?

Or do we get sucked up into a torrent of cataclysmic crazy that forces us to survive by however means necessary? I.e. not by charming Beyoncé and Jay Z into an invitation to booze cruise right through the tempest on their impenetrable, diamond encrusted yacht — but by panicking; abandoning all of the practices that keep us grounded and by relying on fear to motivate our endurance?

boat

They know what’s up.

Let me tell you what happens when we’re figuratively drowning/scared sh*tless: our neuroses bubble up to the surface in a vile froth of our own making and we lose all power to properly take care of ourselves and play well with others. Ok, so…what if I told you I used to live in that kind of panic mode all the time?

This past year has been an incredible lesson in staying present and taking charge of my own attitude. I’ve become so much calmer. But back in my wayward youth, I constantly played the victim to my own problems. I let my obsessions get the best of me, and I didn’t hold myself accountable for how I reacted to inner turmoil. If I was overly sensitive and impossible to deal with, I blamed OTHERS for not cuttin’ me some slack. How could anyone expect me to be a fully functioning lady when I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life; I was wholly tangled up in food preoccupation and body shaming; I didn’t know enough about myself to know how to recharge, so I was constantly running on empty; and friends and family just DIDN’T UNDERSTAND #drama. Omgz and boys just didn’t stand a chance. I’m sorry, boys of yore. (Sorry to some of you. Some of you are THE WORST.)

I was a mess. And grown-ass womanhood is all about learning how to (usually) not be a mess:

How to stay present: how to let your life nourish you, rather than be consumed by it. You know how assholes are always telling you to live in the moment and you’re like, wait, what? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! I finally figured it out. Enjoy. Build up a life and love the practices and people in it. Engage. Don’t spend a Friday night out with friends texting someone who’s not there, (do as I say… not as I sometimes drunkenly do.) or worrying about money or moving or whatevs (#projecting). Check in with yourself. Mentally show up for your own life, and be responsible for how you live it.

Know your past. Know your needs. Know your flaws. It’s especially hard for women to identify and articulate their needs… but I’m slowly grasping that, although our needs are dynamic, they have a lot to do with who we are. Example: I need new people in my life to surriously put forth effort into getting to know me because I have a complex about being used for superficial means. How’s that for neurotic? I’m pretty sure it mostly has to do with my dad, but it informs how I relate to all men. Oh, you think I’m pretty, do you, because I’m tall and blond and thin? REAL ORIGINAL, YOU DOUCHE. Don’t talk to me. Not normal. Not inherently healthy …  but I know it’s there and can hopefully be prepared to talk about it next time, which is really all I can do.

Feed yourself. Soul food. Real food. If we can all go back to my bizarre tsunami metaphor for a hot second: in case of emergency, you need to put on your life preserver first. You can’t be anything to anyone if you don’t take care of yourself first and foremost. That’s not selfish. That’s science.

Yes, I was stressing this week about so. many. things. But I was also equipped to rise to the occasion. Every day, I get better about just handling it, whatever it may be… which is sort of thrilling, right? So this weekend, let’s celebrate our growth! Let’s squeeze every last drop of pleasure out of each day. Let’s know our faults and how to work with them. And in the wise words of R. Kelly (GROSS), let’s have us some fun.

How are you engaging in your life this weekend? What sorts of lovely brain impediments are you perpetually challenged by? I’d love to know.

XOXO,
Rose

Author: twitchysister

Hey you! Rosieglowwellness.com is largely devoted to musings on what balance means to an urbane, artsy-fartsy twenty-something. It’s tough out here for us post-grad women: if you’re not homeless, you’re doing something right. But do you, too, worry that you spend too much time furrowing your brows over your future when you should be unwrapping and relishing your present? Do you, like me, sometimes feel like everyone expects you to be the type of person who spends the majority of her entry-level “arts” paycheck on fifteen dollar old-timey cocktails, four a.m. cab rides home and everything sequined on the Urban Outfitters sale rack when, perhaps, you are really the type of person who would rather drink cucumber mint kale juice while wearing yoga pants and Googling reiki techniques? Is it possible that such a person is one and the same, and she is fabulous in her own, very confused right? Sister girl, I hear you. I know you. I accept you. I also know in my happy gut, full heart and coffee-addled brain that you and I are gorgeous glow worms, just as we are! We are sparkle ponies of light and love and we are still in the process of teasing out our true, authentic selves with all of this… living. So if you don’t have it figured out, if you acknowledge that you never will and that is tremendously exciting, if you want to connect with other smart chicks and tap into that charming inner-self of yours, then come back real soon, ya hear? We’re family now!

11 thoughts on “All My Neuroses on a Plate

  1. This is my favorite post so far! YOU GO WOMAN!!! You describe things so well, I want to make a t-shirt.

  2. Oh, thank you thank you thank you! If you ever do make a T-shirt… I need one, too :)

    Really, so glad you read this thing. The fact that such an artistic talent appreciates what I have to say means a lot!

  3. Great post! I’m currently doing therapy weekly to try to unravel my unending anxiety and a lot of what you said here (everything you said, actually) rings very true to what has worked for me so far. Get it guuuurl!

  4. Pingback: This Week: A Very Brief Rant | Rosie Glow Wellness

  5. Pingback: On Being a Twitchy, Sobbing Shell of your Former Self | Rosie Glow Wellness

  6. Pingback: The Rocks That I Got: On Making A Diamond | Rosie Glow Wellness

  7. Pingback: On Being a Grown Ass Woman, Part III: Birthday Edition | Rosie Glow Wellness

  8. Pingback: Resolve | Rosie Glow Wellness

  9. Pingback: 2:13 Female-targeted Marketing | Rosie Glow Wellness

  10. Pingback: 3:90 Unsettled | Rosie Glow Wellness

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 81 other followers