Hey you! Just fluttered around my apartment disposing of used Kleenexes like some sort of germ fairy…
which means, at least, that I’m feeling fly enough to flutter! My mobility and pixie power is due in no small part to the way I treat myself when I’m ailing: like a freaking queen. Below: tips for you all the next time you catch an icky bug…
1. If you can move, move. “They” always say not to exercise when you’re serving time as a human-shaped mason jar of evil antibodies, but I think “they” need to be more specific. Truth: I went to the gym yesterday and am planning to go back in an hour or so. You better believe I exerted more effort into wiping down my machine (DO IT OR KARMA GON’ GET YOU.) than jogging, but I still went. Here’s why: if you’re a relatively active person in your daily life, but spend a sick day lying prostrate on your bed, your energy levels will freak. Your legs will be antsy. Your appetite will be off. And worst of all… you may not be able to sleep. This just in: sickies need sleep, and if you spend 9 hours watching a Gilmore Girls marathon under your covers prior to lights out, your bod will rebel. Before you know it, it’ll be 2:00 a.m., and you’ll be feebly shaking your fist to the tune of “Curse ye Rory!”
Of course, if you’re dizzy or nauseous or have two busted knee caps… duh, don’t exercise. But if you’re just generally disgusting with a head full of snot, like me, do something. Even if that something is…
2. Prettify your healing space. You’re stuck at home anyway… you should probably hang up paintings, light candles, and scrub your bath tub. If you know you’re going to spend a solid few days in one tiny apartment, you best make sure that apartment is livable.
3. Prettify yourself. Or don’t. I have very specific lounge wear that makes me happy but I wouldn’t let anyone else see me in it.
Makes me feel like I’m in Risky Business…
And since no one’s going to bust down your door (lest they catch your disease), take the opportunity to do embarrassing you-things! Like this:
4. Eat. Not too much. Mostly plants. Listen: I know that when you’re sick, all you want to do is eat crap. Easy crap. Cheesy crap. Ever since this post, I’ve wanted to eat some form of nachos for every meal. But MY nachos are made up of home-baked sprouted tortilla chips, a riff on this butternut squash “cheese” sauce thickened up with raw, soaked cashews, lots of guac, salsa, crumbled tempeh and a side salad. More “junk” food:
Homemade kale chips, lentil chips, hummus; all natural, sugar free Zevia soda; “taco” salad with the aforementioned “nachos” plus pico de gallo dumped over greens; raw chocolate avocado banana shake topped with cacao nibs and raspberries; a sh*t ton of raw peanut butter brownie batter
It’s important to indulge your cravings when you’re sick – it comes with the “treat yo’self!” territory. But when you’re fighting off an illness you need more nutrients: not less. Capische?
5. Actually do what you do: You know how you’re a baller illustrator/mandolin player/felted forest animal sculptor but you just don’t have time to keep at it? Gf/Bf, you have a whole sick day or two or three to do your thang! I like to subscribe to the excuse that whatever I make won’t be any good if I’m feeling sh*tty…but that’s baloney! I’m just as good a writer when I’m indisposed: I just have to stop and windex my laptop screen post-sneeze. (Opera singing friends: you’re exempt. ) You’ll feel better after you accomplish something.
6. Sleep. Do whatever it takes. All of my REMs are interrupted by hourly neti pot usage and constant hacking, but when I’m determined to get the rest I need, I can usually do it. Let’s hope this is easier for you all than it is for me.
All of that said, I hope none of you are sick or ever get sick ever again! Thank you for the well wishes, though, and tell me… what’s your advice for a patient? Any miracle tricks? Have any enemies you want me to sneeze on?